The Weight of Unspoken Words: Learning to Speak Before the Heart Grows Heavy.

Christina Isabel once said: “Remember, if you are not speaking it, you are storing it, and that gets heavy.”

Heavy.

A heavy heart.

That word lands differently when you’ve lived it.

Because heaviness isn’t always grief. Sometimes it’s silence.

Sometimes it’s everything you swallowed because it felt safer than being misunderstood.

Sometimes it’s the truth you folded neatly inside yourself and told yourself you would unpack “one day.”

What is it that’s meant to be spoken?

Honestly, I don’t have a universal answer.

What I do know is this: I’ve carried things I should have said. Not everything, no, but some things. And those unsaid words didn’t disappear. They stayed. They settled. They added weight.

That quote reminds me of lessons I’m still learning, slowly, imperfectly.

First, stop centering your life around what others might think.

People will always have something to say.

If you speak, they’ll judge.

If you stay quiet, they’ll judge.

If you change, they’ll comment.

If you don’t, they’ll question it.

“Others” will always be others.

Second; don’t take everything personally.

People are different. They love differently, react differently, tolerate differently. Sometimes what irritates others has very little to do with you, and everything to do with their own limits. And remember, gently: at some point, you are also “the other” in someone else’s story. So go easy on yourself.

A few months ago, I started practicing something that still scares me: expressing my feelings. Some of them. Carefully. Honestly.

The question that pushed me was simple and unsettling: What if this were my last chance to say it?

Don’t get me wrong, I’m still afraid. Afraid of being misunderstood. Afraid of opening up and becoming a joke. Afraid of vulnerability being met with indifference.

But I’m learning that there are things you will never receive unless you risk asking. There are needs that will never be met unless you allow them to be seen.

When you express yourself, you’re not forcing an outcome, you’re simply giving others the freedom to choose how they respond.

One of the reasons I kept so much inside (and yes, I still do sometimes 🤦‍♀️😂) was fear of change.

What if I speak today and feel differently tomorrow? What if I stand up for someone and later change my perspective? What if I say I love you… and one day, I don’t?

Those fears were real. Some of them still are.

But I’m learning to live in the present. To go to bed having chosen truth for today, and trusting myself to choose again tomorrow, if God grants me that day.

One decision at a time.

One breath at a time.

Et bien sûr, je vais parler de l’amour.

Si je te dis que je t’aime, c’est vrai. Je décide de t’aimer. Je t’aime aujourd’hui.

Et si demain m’est donné, je prendrai cette décision encore.

It’s not easy.

But I’m taking baby steps.

Be patient. Be kind. And, if possible, be understanding.

Parce qu’un cœur qui parle reste vivant.

Et un cœur vivant ne devrait jamais être trop lourd à porter.

Rugo,

Avec amour et tendresse!😉

Ps. My mum (RIP) invested in my French.

I will honor her by using it whenever I can.

Meaning? Google’s got you.