When Loss Meets Loneliness: Coping with Grief in Difficult Times

A lily (Ai Generated)

I know losing someone will always be painful, but it feels even harder in these times of isolation and restrictions.

When I lost my mom (long before COVID), the pain was sharp but not immediate. It took time for me to realize just how deeply her absence would shape my life. She took a piece of my heart with her, and even today, that wound is still healing.

What carried me through was the support I received. People showed up for me: family, friends, and even those I barely knew but who had known her. During that week before "gukura ikiriyo", I found unexpected comfort in the stories people shared about her kindness, her humor, and her warmth. Even years later, I still hear her name mentioned with laughter and a smile. Being surrounded by people who sat with me, hugged me, and simply stayed close was not just comforting—it was life-saving.

I know some say, “People die. It’s life. Don’t make it a big deal.” But the truth is, losing someone you love will always be a big deal. We had dreams with them. We miss their love, their guidance, and their presence. Grief demands time and energy—emotional, physical, and spiritual. If we try to bury it, it will find its way out later in ways we won’t like.

So, I pray for those who have lost loved ones, especially during COVID, when restrictions made grieving even lonelier.

If you know someone mourning, reach out. Call them. Sit with them if it’s safe. Let them cry, complain, or even get angry. What they need is not advice, but presence, someone patient enough to hold space for their pain.

And if you are reading this and grieving, please remember: you are allowed to cry, to be vulnerable, and to miss them out loud. Strength is not pretending you’re okay; it’s giving yourself permission to feel and to heal.

Rugo.

A piece of my mind!